How to Create Your Own Wedding Ceremony
As a wedding celebrant, I can honestly say that I LOVE MY JOB!!! I love being able to try to put into words the love between two human beings. I like to know the road that got them to where they are today. None of us can say that it has been an easy road or without bumps along the way. It is those little rough patches that help us grow and flourish as humans.
When two people are ready to make the ultimate commitment, I think that their ceremony should reflect the people they are today. I also feel that paying homage to some of the bumps along the way. I feel that it makes for a more emotional and sentimental story and ceremony.
In this article we will review the most popular components to include in a general wedding ceremony or celebration.
Your “welcome” sets the tone for the day. It can be light and fun or it can be stark and solemn. No matter the feel of your ceremony, its purpose is like the binding of a book. This is where we open the book and starting reading from the beginning.
The welcome is also the perfect place to thank all of your guests that have traveled so far to be with you on this most special of occasions. Here in Tuscany, nearly every wedding is a far-off destination for the bride and groom as well as their friends and families. We like to try to say “Welcome, Benvenuti, Bienvenidos, Willkommen, Croeso, Fáilte, добро пожаловать”… you get the picture. It is a wonderful way to make everyone feel welcome and part of the ceremony.
This is where we like to include “the story of you”. It is a fun way to recount how you met, what emotions you were going through, your shared adventures, how you got engaged and how we ended up on this breathtaking overlook in Tuscany. For me, weaving two lives and two stories into one, personifies exactly what this day is meant to represent.
Make sure you share information that you think others would like to hear. Maybe some things they don’t know – “they really climb glaciers???”. This part of the ceremony is the part that is meant to be very special to you two. Even if you are not able to properly articulate your relationship in a nutshell, don’t be afraid to ask for help! Tuscany Wedding Celebrants will be here for you every step of the way
DECLARATION OF INTENT
Here is where things tend to follow more of the traditional wedding ceremony. (In some states or countries, it is required by law to state your intentions to enter this union of your own free will.) You may be asked something along the lines of:
“Will you take _________ to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife/partner from this day forward – through whatever challenges and triumphs life brings you; will you love him/her/them, honor him/her/them, and cherish him/her/them and no other – for the rest of your life?”
Or something along those lines, to which you usually reply with “I will”.
EXCHANGING OF VOWS
In this part of the ceremony, things tend to relax a bit and deviate back towards more of a unique experience for and about the couple. This is where you acknowledge and share your true feelings of love and compassion for your partner. There is no right or wrong way to exchange vows. More and more couples these days are choosing to write and recite their own vows. It is yet another piece of the ceremony that is ultra-personalized and representative of your two lives intertwining and becoming one.
In addition to exchanging your own handwritten vows, there are usually a set of predetermined vows that the celebrant reads and you each will repeat. There is no set formula for what form your vows take here. You can be funny and include, “and I vow to never leave dirty dishes in the sink”, to keep things light and playful or you can say something like, “I swear that I will dedicate my life from this day forward”. Again, there is no wrong or right way to profess your vows. Make sure that it feels right and true and that these words come from your heart. If you don’t feel that way, then by all means rewrite and tweak them until the feel exactly the way you feel. Still need a little help, you can always ask someone.
EXCHANGING OF THE RINGS
This is where you literally, “put a ring on it”. It can be as long or as short as you wish. It usually also includes a read and response where you repeat each line, to solemnly join your life to your partner. Nowadays, couples are really starting to personalize this part of the ceremony as well. (Back when our parents got married, it was pretty much a set script and everyone said the exact same thing… blah, blah, blah…“until death do us part”.
Ceremonies, overall, are a bit of a lighter affair as of late. Is it because we are rebelling against the way things used to be done and the archaic language? Maybe in this post-Covid world, we are seeing life through a different set of eyes. Or just maybe, we are no longer afraid of putting our hearts on display for everyone to see. Showing the world that in the face of all this chaos and uncertainty, there is still one certainty we can count on. True, unrequited love.
This is where we wrap it all up and put a bow on top. You have come before your family and friends and declared your love for and trust in the one you hold above all others. You finally able to turn around and greet your family and friends as Partners in this crazy life. Lean in for the all-important kiss, great your adoring crown and make your way back down the aisle in the midst of all the hoots, hollers and fanfare. This is the moment you have been waiting for – now let’s celebrate!
Of course, this is only the bare skeleton of a ceremony, but it should offer you a glimpse of what your ceremony could look like while you continue on this crazy journey. Absolutely nothing is set in stone. Would you like to include a hand-fasting or a unity candle ritual, by all means, do so! Do you have kids (or a pet) that you would like to include in your ceremony, please do! Readings? Let’s add them in! This day is built to celebrate the love you have for one another. Let your ceremony reflect exactly who you are! Happy writing.
If you are looking for a celebrant, would like assistance writing your ceremony or are looking for readings or quotes, please do not hesitate to get in touch with Tuscany Wedding Celebrants. We have over twenty years of experience and a ready to help you put your ceremony together.